Stay Weird, Pittsburgh: The Song of The Fetter Man, Pittsburgh’s Best Guidebook and Hurt

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Photo: Tik Tok

A screenshot of Pittsburgh’s Greatest Tour Ever

Hello and welcome to Stay Weird, Pittsburgh – a weekly column with the goal of showing Austin, Texas that they have no idea what they’re talking about. I’m your host, Hannah, and I’m so, so incredibly relieved that our Best Of Pittsburgh issue is finally out! Now, let’s take a look at the Pittsburgh Bizarre:

This man is the best Pittsburgh tour guide you can get. Why? Because he’s the only person who can represent the soul of this town: an old man who drives you around in his 2003 Mercury, makes you recreate some old football shit that nobody cares about, but also randomly starts a Talking Heads song.

So true, king. (Justice for Johnny Cash!)

For better or worse, I think this Uber driver represents the average Pitt Ph.D. student. And I understand! Good luck in the college job market, man.

I must end with what I believe to be the craziest election ad I have ever seen. (And there were many!) There’s so much to talk about here: the misspelling of the prisoners as “prisoners”, the fact that it’s a parody of sailor (??), the intonation turning Fetterman into “Fetter Man,” the Photoshopped photo of Fetterman wearing a hammer and sickle sweatshirt…

Unfortunately for the creator of this ad, it only succeeded in a) keeping “SOON THE MAN FETTER COMING” stuck in my head, and making John Fetterman more appealing to me.

Have you seen anything bizarre that you think deserves to be included in this very serious column that will undoubtedly land its author the Pulitzer one day? Send it to [email protected]!